Deconstructing “I’m Not Enough”


I’ve never yet met a person who didn’t suffer from some form of insecurity. We all feel – because we’re all taught (but that’s a different blog post) – like we are inadequate or not good enough in some way. The list of things that could make you “not good enough” is endless. You’re too tall/short, thin/fat, dark/light, rich/poor, genius/average, or creative/logical, your credit score it too low or too high, you don’t drive the right car, wear the right shoes, or know the right people.

There’s never a shortage of ways to make you feel crappy about yourself and there’s also an endless supply of people who will gladly point out your inadequacy because they feel so badly about themselves that the only way they know how to bring themselves up is by putting someone else down.

What’s weird about your feeling of being not enough is that, you’re right. You’re NOT enough! Let me explain…

The moment your soul entered into a human body, you became not enough. Why? Because there is a deeper part of you that will always know that you are so much bigger than you could ever be in human form. You will always feel a sense of internal struggle as a result. The further you stray from your recognition as a spiritual being with limitless power, the more you will feel this sense of not enough-ness. That’s why spirituality helps you shake off the angst of the man-made version of your inadequacy. When I say spirituality, I’m not speaking of religion that tells you that you’re broken in some way without a Savior that’s outside of you, nor am I speaking of “I’m so spiritual I need to announce it every ten minutes” posing. I’m talking about the type of connection with your version of Higher Power that allows you to sense and know the greatness that’s both within and around you. Tapping into this will allow you to much more easily navigate the man-made version of inadequacy.

On the flip side, the part of you that feels like you can’t be your authentic self without living in complete isolation is simply afraid (and also wrong). You ARE enough. Why? Because you are the only YOU that has ever existed and that ever will. No matter what you’re measuring against, there will always be someone who is in a different part of the spectrum than you are. If you’re short, for example, there will always be someone taller and there will always be someone shorter. Comparing yourself is a completely subjective and almost always illegitimate method of measuring your worth because the data is always skewed in favor of which interpretation you’re trying to find evidence of. The only thing that nobody can ever compete with you on, not even your “identical” twin, is your YOU-ness. There is only one of you.

Ironically, while you’re busy sitting around saying “who am I to…”, the world is wishing and wanting for someone exactly like you to appear. There is a gift inside you that nobody else has, there’s a message within you that nobody else can deliver in the same way you would say it and there are people who can’t hear that message or accept that gift if it is delivered in any other way.

People around you want you to be just like them because that’s within their comfort zone. It doesn’t force them to look beyond themselves or to acknowledge that they aren’t being real either. It’s only through you having the courage to be YOU in all your splendor and all your oddity, that the world around you gets to see that it’s possible and start the shift for themselves.

It sounds simplistic but, at the end of the day, you own your life. You get to choose what to do with it. Will you continue to feed at the trough of inadequacy or will you unleash your sparkle?

Leave me a comment and tell me your choice 😉


Photo credit: wolfgangfoto / Foter / CC BY-ND

That’s Not My God


So much from God
That I can no longer
A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim
A Buddhist, a Jew.

The Truth has shared so much of
With me
That I can no longer call myself
A man, a woman, and angel
Or even pure Soul.

Love has
Hafiz so completely
It has turned to ash
And freed
Of every concept and image
My mind has ever known.

– Hafiz, ancient Sufi poet

The first (and only) time I ever said no to my mother, it was about religion. I was 8 years old and she wanted me to get baptized. I refused. When she asked me why, I said, “because that’s not my God”.

What she heard was that I was a Satan-worshiper. That single statement sparked an 11 year battle to save my soul by beating the devil out of me – literally…but, that’s a different story.

What I meant was something altogether different. I didn’t know how or why but I held a belief, strong and unwavering within my soul, that God was simply about love. The God they taught me about in church was angry, judgmental, and, in my opinion, a bit insecure. That was not my God!

However, like many of us, over time I chose to put my own truth on a shelf and live in a manner that conformed to the beliefs and mindset of those around me. I became a “born-again” Christian and got baptized when I was 13. I was completely faithful and, had you asked me about my decision at age 8, I would have told you I had been a foolish child and I just didn’t understand things back then. I held fast to that stance for 6 more years.

…and then I died.

The experience that I remember from my death shattered the concepts of everything I was being taught by the world. During it, I was bathed in love and acceptance and I recognized the same energy that I had connected with as a child. I also reached the personal conclusion that there was no way to encompass THAT power in a particular dogma or religion so, when I returned to life, I instantaneously went from devout Christian to firm believer in the energy and power of love – and nothing else. The new rules that I followed shifted to simply living as love on a regular basis.

Let me tell you, it ain’t easy! We live in a world divided; one filled with hatred and fueled by fear. Standing firm in the space of love takes courage and fortitude. It takes busting through fear, pretty much constantly, in order to face the world as an authentic individual.

I don’t talk often about my spirituality or the place it holds within my business but I figured if I’m doing a blog challenge with a group called Spiritual Badass, I should at least touch upon the concept of spirituality.:-)

Does my spirituality influence my business? Of course it does!

I think that everyone is influenced by their spirituality, or even by the choice to not believe in anything. So, to me, it goes without saying that my business is influenced by my spirituality. If you ask me what I do, my response would start with something like, “I help entrepreneurs bust through the fears that are keeping them stuck.” but I could just as easily hint at the spiritual influence and say, “I help entrepreneurs live in a space of love.” Tomayto, tomahto.

How about you? Leave me a comment and tell me what influence your spirituality has had on your work. (Play nicely!)


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