About Shayla

Shayla Logan is an Inspirational Speaker and Professional Fear Buster in San Diego, CA. Her end goal is to bring more love into the world by empowering heart-centered entrepreneurs to overcome the fears, doubts, and insecurities that would otherwise keep them stuck.

Manifesting Greater Love

On this episode of This Stuff’s Working! Radio, we’re going to be talking about manifesting greater love in your life. Our guest will be Love Ambassador Shayla Logan, author, motivational speaker and coach behind Life Out Loud.

Love is the most powerful energy there is. You can embody love to create so much more in your life. We’re going to explore why self-love is important and how it ties into being able to love others around you more. We’ll also discuss, how singles can create the love they are seeking in their lives.

It’s gonna be a love fest! You won’t want to miss it!

Always Believing In You,

Coach KishaLynn

When Life Knocks You Down…

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It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and feel like it’s going to last forever. It’s even easier to not be able to see any possibility for your future if your current situation looks bleak.

I’m going to be very honest (ie vulnerable) and tell you that my life has been on a horrific downward spiral in the past few months.

I lost my mother, I lost my house and my stellar credit score due to drama with a tenant, and I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I’ve felt like life knocked me down and then kicked me in the stomach a few times while I was there.

People around me told me they were amazed that I was still able to continue to laugh, innovate, and serve the world. I told them it wasn’t by accident. Knowing the secret to getting back up is the key!

So, what can you do when life knocks you down?

1. Stay down

At least temporarily. Use the opportunity to rest, reevaluate, and recoup.

Not to point out the obvious, but pain feels pretty bad. Usually, if you’re like most people, that means you try to avoid it at all costs. Unfortunately, this usually either prolongs the pain or morphs it into baggage that you then carry around forever. Allow yourself to feel it, as icky as that is.

I gave myself permission to feel whatever I felt, whenever I felt like feeling it. This meant, in the past month, that I cried during a business meeting and I had a meltdown in the grocery store but it also meant I got to release it and get through it quicker. The easiest way through something is through it. Bear in mind there’s a fine line between feeling something and wallowing in it. Only allow yourself to stay down for as long as you need to genuinely nurture yourself.

2. Change your mind

Reality is largely based on your perception. If all you focus on is the negative in a situation, your outlook will seem much more bleak.

I believe in the Law of Polarity. To me it means that everything that exists is a balance of good and bad and it just depends on the angle from which I view it. On one side, having a tumor sucks! On the other side is the opportunity to see how incredibly loved I am and the chance to restructure my business to be less dependent on doing one-on-one coaching.

Nothing in this world is all good or all bad. The next time you’re faced with a challenge, ask “where is the blessing or opportunity in this?” A part of getting back up lies in realizing you’re not down as low as you may think you are.

3. Bend, don’t break

Life is messy, unpredictable, and often unfair. Bad things happen to good people, change is a constant, and things don’t always look the way you will want them to. When you get real and accept life for what it is, you can stop fighting against the wind. One of the keys to getting back up is to accept that life will, at times, knock you down. When you learn to bend with change instead of insisting on things remaining the way they’ve always been, you’re much less likely to break when times get hard.

Another advantage of learning how to be flexible is that you will become more successful. It is difficult to remain fearful when you embrace what is.

What are some things you do to help YOU get back up?

 

 

 

Photo credit: Evil Erin / Foter.com / CC BY

You Don’t Need It!

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Christine King died 22 days ago.

Chances are pretty high that you didn’t know her. She never wrote a book, gave a webinar, had a Facebook fan page, or went on a speaking tour. She was, however, a woman who followed her passion and impacted the world as a result. 

Six credits away from graduating with her Master’s degree, Chrsitine made a decision to follow her passion and switched her major from mathematics to childhood development. She then dedicated the rest of her life to taking care of children. By the time she passed, she had a hand in raising almost three generations of children – 5 biological, 4 legally adopted, dozens of unofficially adopted, a handful of grandchildren, a great grandchild, and over 20 foster kids. On top of all that, she ran a daycare from her home. If you were to ask her, she would never give a title when introducing a child. There were no foster kids or adopted kids in her viewpoint. We were all her children and she would introduce us as such (I know all of this because I am Christine’s daughter).

Her funeral was early afternoon, on a Thursday, the day after a snowstorm yet almost 200 people showed up. Almost every person that got up to speak, told the same story with different underlying details. They spoke of her as a ripple in the world. They talked about how she impacted their lives, gave them strong values, taught them love and acceptance, and turned them around from circumstances that could have ended up very differently. They also talked about how they are each making their own impact on the world in different ways due to that impact she made on them.

I was familiar with their story because it is also my own. I now get to impact the world because she impacted me and I was honored and awed to see such a clear example of the power of following your passion.

In working with people on discovering their passions I frequently see all of the excuses – yes, excuses – that people come up with for not following their passion. “I can’t make money at it”, “I need a degree or other specialized training”, “my family says it isn’t a good idea”, etc, etc. 

The real truth is, you don’t need it – whatever “it” is. That isn’t to say that if you really want to be a doctor you don’t need to go to medical school. It is saying you don’t need most of the things you think you need in order to at least start moving in the direction of your passion. You simply need the intention that you are going to be true to your calling – even if it scares you, even if other people say you’re crazy, even if it gets hard at times.

I’m glad I’ve written a book, given talks, won awards, and so on and I’m equally glad for the opportunity to see, through the example of Christine, that it can also be as simple as just DOING the thing you’re called to do in the world. It was a much needed reminder along my path of following my calling.

What is preventing you from following your calling?

Photo credit: Sergiu Bacioiu / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Living in the Miracle

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I personally believe that miracles occur on a regular basis. It is simply a matter of being able to adjust your vision so that you can see them. We usually focus with ease on what’s wrong in the world and, sometimes, we stay so focused on those things that we miss the smaller miracles that occur all around us. Other times, the miracle is so obvious that even the negative gets blotted out – like what happened to me and my beloved this weekend.

We seem to have the type of life where things – even common place things like a casual bike ride – turn into what we’ve come to call “adventures”. Because we have grown accustomed to adventures, nothing really surprises us anymore. Every once in awhile, however, we are shocked by just how loved we are by the Universe and how, if angels earned a paycheck, ours would get double the average rate.

This weekend we decided to go camping in the desert. (Please don’t ask why; sometimes we just do stuff like that.) The first night was fairly uneventful, other than the confusion of putting together the rental tent and the annoyance of the people who arrived at 11:30pm and noisily put up four tents right beside us. The next morning, after a cozy camp-style breakfast, we decided to head into “town” to get ice and see what else was going on there. On the way, we saw a gorgeous, giant iron sculpture of a scorpion. In the midst of our awe we also saw that, as far out as we could view, there were other animal sculptures; so we gave up all plans of going into town and immediately started driving across the sand to see them.

I wasn’t far into the drive when I realized the sand was pretty soft and we were potentially headed for “an adventure”. Just as I was about to panic, I drove onto a patch that was harder and I relaxed a bit. I also figured out that, even in the softer sand, as long as we kept moving, it wasn’t a problem. Once I figured that out, we were able to get pretty far out into the sand. Then, it happened – I became awe struck by one of the sculptures, didn’t keep the car moving, and we got stuck.

We didn’t panic. We immediately started working toward a solution. We tried rocking the vehicle and we tried pushing. The front end of the car just went deeper into the sand. We grabbed some cardboard (that was conveniently already in my trunk) to put under the tires. As we were trying to tear apart the cardboard box, we look up to see that, out of nowhere, a tow truck had appeared. Yes, a tow truck just “showed up” in the middle of the Anza-Borrego desert and offered to help us out.

But, wait, it gets even better than that! Not only did a tow truck appear, in the middle of the desert, but it was a AAA truck (and we have AAA) so we didn’t have to pay anything. On top of that, the driver flat-out refused to take a tip we tried more than once to give to him.

I looked at my partner with a big smile on my face, as the tow truck was driving away, and said, “You know, don’t you, that the next time we are wondering if something is going to work out, I’m going to mention that a tow truck showed up, out of thin air, in the middle of the desert?” “Yes, honey”, she nodded, “I know.”

What miracles are happening in your life?

 

Photo credit: Bill Gracey / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Dirty, sticky, safety

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I talk a lot about all of the horror of my childhood. It feels like something I’m supposed to do. My story and the fact that I’m not only alive but thriving, gives evidence to others that anything is possible. Today, however, I feel the need to honor the duality that is life because nothing is ever black and white. There is darkness within the joys in our life and there is light within our struggles.

My light, during my childhood, lasted for about three years. It came almost exclusively from my great-great-grandmother. Her name was Ada but, for reasons I never learned, everyone in the family called her Muncie.

Muncie had a garden that was a massive plot in the back of her house and, every spring and summer afternoon, after lunch and her “stories”, she would go out back to work in it. On the days I was allowed to visit her, I would go with her. She would give me one black plum from the plum tree and give me free reign to do whatever I wanted for that hour. The only restrictions were that I not disrupt her work or do anything that would harm any of the plants.

Most kids would have taken that time to play, but I wasn’t most kids. I did almost the same thing every single day. I would sit in the row between the tomato plants, where I could best inhale their unique fragrance, I would dig my bare feet into the soft earth, and I would eat my plum with wild abandon. I would allow the juices to run down my face with no attempt to wipe them away and when it was down to nothing but the pit, I would lie down in the dirt, suck on the pit, feel the sun warming my body and allow myself to fully experience the knowledge that, for that one hour, I was safe. Nobody could harm me in Muncie’s garden; it was like reaching home base in a game of tag. I was immune to beating, bashing, and being belittled. For that one hour, I was nothing more than a kid with a sticky face and a dirty back.

Over time, my mother decided she didn’t like Muncie telling her “how to raise me” so she kept me away from her. She couldn’t, however, take away my memory. I would smell a tomato plant or eat a plum or notice a ray of sunshine on my face and know, that even if for only an hour on certain spring and summer afternoons, nobody in my world was going to harm me.

Every year now, I grow tomatoes in my garden. I don’t even usually eat them. In fact, last year they became food for the caterpillars. There is still something about their smell that takes me back to that moment in my life of knowing, without a doubt, that everything was safe even if it was for just that one moment. Muncie probably had no idea the gift that she gave me…or perhaps she did.

We talked on my 18th birthday. I had even less of a filter back then than I do now, so my first words to her were, “I’m afraid you’re going to die soon.”
“No, child, I have four more years to go. Don’t you worry.”
“How’s your garden?”, I asked, realizing I had started a potentially awkward conversation and trying to redirect.
She replied, completely bypassing my question, “I am 96 years old and you have seen more of life and have far greater wisdom in your 18 years than I will ever have. Use it.”
I, being 18, had no idea now to respond so I changed the topic to something more frivolous.

Four years later, as she predicted, she passed. I never forgot her love or the many gifts that she brought to my life. I think she would be proud that I am “using it”.

Nothing is ever black and white. What has been the light within your struggles?

Photo credit: Jennuine Captures / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Loving Boston

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This post will anger some people. They will tell me to go back to my New Age love-nest and burn incense while singing Kum-bay-ah. They will say this because:

1. They know absolutely nothing at all about who I am

2. We have created a culture where love and compassion is viewed as weakness so the very act of me proposing something such as that is threatening to them.

I’d like to propose it is time for a shift.


In the midst of an otherwise stellar day, I saw the news of the Boston marathon explosions. My heart cried, “Not again! Why?!?”

And then, I remembered. In my mind, I went back to the day we received news of Osama Bin Laden’s murder. On the news it was being happily reported that there were people dancing in the streets, joyous about his demise. Being an advocate of Love in this world I was deeply saddened; not as much by his killing as by our reaction. People don’t seem to get that what we put out into the world is what we get back. Garbage in, garbage out. We put “hate and anger and dancing in the streets because someone was killed” in, we get “hate and anger and more killing” out.

I almost gave up on my soul purpose of bringing more love into the world, that day. I stood in my kitchen and cried and said, “I am wasting my time. People are never going to get it!” Luckily I had a brilliant coach who helped me to see that it isn’t my job to make you “get it”. I’m simply here to show the way, should you choose to walk a different path. So here it is:

You can’t put out a continual energy of anger and separation and then act appalled when somebody does something that is aligned with that energy!

Yes, it is easy – very, VERY easy – to be angry toward someone who does something horrific, such as flying a plane into the World Trade Center, shooting innocent children at Sandy Hook, or planting bombs on the site of the Boston marathon. It is easy to call them names, curse them, call them stupid, loathe their very being, and want them to be punished. My question is, “And then what?” Once you have finished hating and cursing, then what? What difference have you made in the world by doing so, other than adding more negative energy into the atmosphere?

If history repeats itself – as it usually does until a shift occurs – most of us will finish spouting off and then, when things calm down, we’ll go back to exactly the way things were. We will continue our path of separation, of valuing a piece of green paper more than the life of another, of only being able to see what is wrong in the world and the people around us instead of the beauty that is in our face every day – begging to be noticed, of finding differences and using them as reasons to break each other down rather than finding all the things we have in common and using that to build each other up.

As Albert Einstein once said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” This means you can’t hate your way into world peace. You can’t stop the senseless murders by shaking your head and muttering, “What the hell is wrong with these people?!?” and then walking away. You can’t stop the rampant negative energy in our world by fighting against…ANYTHING.

So when you stop to send prayers and love to the folks in Boston today, don’t forget to include the bombers. No, this isn’t about condoning their actions. It is about shifting out of the energy of anger and negativity, it is about changing our culture to one that sees the cry of the damaged, rather than damaging them more by piling our loathing onto them, it is about shifting the thinking that created the world we live in.

It is time for a reality that doesn’t include people bombing and shooting each other en masse on a regular basis. That can only occur by each of us, individually, deciding that our thinking, actions, and energy must change.

What would you propose we do to shift the world?

Photo credit: JamesieAB / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Walking the Tightrope

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I had a couple of overnight guests Sunday night. We had all just attended the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) annual conference. We got up yesterday morning, made breakfast and coffee and, still in our PJs with tousled hair, began a conversation about a topic I’m sure was common for lots of people who had just spent four days at a humor conference…death.

We talked about our experiences and perceptions, our fears and misgivings, how it tied into and affected our spirituality, and how we experienced grief and honored the passing. It was one of the deepest, most meaningful conversations I’ve had in a long time. I would like to say that I didn’t initiate the conversation about death but I honestly don’t remember; it just flowed.

I was not at all surprised, however. We tend to attract what we focus on and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about death. Having had a near death experience, I find death to be an amazing and beautiful thing so I’m not worrying about death. More like I’ve been thinking about all of the ways it impacts my life and I’ve also been wondering why it’s called a “near death experience” when you have to actually die to experience it.

Mostly, though, I’ve been noticing how I am figuratively dying to some old ways of being. I’m dying to the way of playing small. My confusion is kicking the bucket. Being swayed by the opinions of others is going six feet under. The desire to put pleasing others above living in my truth is laying down for the long sleep. Dimming my light so that others don’t have to put on shades is givin’ up the ghost. I am finally, after…I’m not telling how many…years, stepping into the role I am supposed to play in the world.

I’m finding that the process is a lot like walking a tightrope. I am precariously balanced, walking from here to where I need to go, with the net of what has passed, which is oh so comfortable (but would kill my soul), beneath me.

I firmly believe that whenever we seek to change, everything that stands in the way of that change eagerly rushes to the surface so it can be released. So, in order to die to all of these old ways, all the parts of me that don’t fit into that new world are surfacing. I have promised myself I will go through this process with dignity this time. I will release what doesn’t serve me and step, with head held high, into my new role; unlike my norm of kicking and screaming and leaving claw marks everywhere. Lao Tzu said, “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.”

I am not afraid of dying. Are you?

 

Photo credit: -Snugg- / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

The Other Side of Fear

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“Who do you think you are? Why would they want to listen to you? What if you screw it all up? What if they don’t like you?” These are the voices of my “committee” every time I’m about to speak in front of a group. I’ve been speaking and/or delivering workshops since 1998 and the committee has never failed to chime in. Luckily, I know my pattern. I will step into something, the committee will chime in, I will listen, I will become frightened and frozen, then I will remember what my truth is and I will relax and move forward. Sometimes this happens in a matter of seconds; sometimes much longer.

I wrote a mini eBook and it was published on Amazon yesterday. I’ve stayed frightened and frozen for 24 hours because I allowed the committee (aka fear) to convince me it was crap and probably a bad idea. I decided I just wouldn’t tell anyone about it and there would be no harm done. Luckily, I know my pattern. I knew, on a deeper level, that my fear would not remain because I am not a friendly host for it. The reminder of my truth always kicks in before it gets too comfortable.

Here’s my truth:

  1. Fear is my friend. It is trying, in a very misguided way, to protect and love me. It means me no harm. Fear is the inner version of the over-protective mother who still makes you wear hats, gloves, and seven layers of clothes so that you don’t catch cold – even though it is now 60 degrees outside.
  2. Fear is from my mind. My mind’s job is to make sense of things and also to protect me. My mind takes this role very seriously. It is willing to play dirty to keep me safe. If that means pushing my buttons and tapping into highly unlikely scenarios to keep me from doing something it deems stupid, it will do so. It will even resort to poking at the seams of my self-worth if it thinks that making me feel ‘less than’ will keep me protected.
  3. I will only sense fear if I am doing something that is bigger than where I am now. Fear does not exist within my comfort zone. The very fact that I am feeling fear tells me that I am pushing those boundaries and growing in new ways. Looked at in this context, fear becomes a great indicator for how much I’m pushing myself.
  4. Feeling fear and remaining frozen are two completely different things. As Georgia O’Keeffe said, “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”

I too, have been absolutely terrified, almost on a daily basis, lately. That’s how I know I’m finally stepping into what my potential. Yes, the committee will probably come along for the ride.

How often are you afraid?

How much do you let it stop you?

P.S. Here’s the book, if you feel so inclined

10 Beliefs That Are Killing Your Business (And how to change them)

Photo credit: Images by John ‘K’ / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Ode to my fertilizer

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Yesterday, my partner described me as spunky and said maybe I shouldn’t be writing in that state. I think it may have carried over to today and, obviously, I didn’t listen so…Warning: this post is raw and gets graphic in spots. Read at your own risk.

This is an ode to all the “fertilizer” that helped me bloom:

I went through 23 different homes before I turned 18. As a child, I never got to develop any sense of stability or safety. For this, I am grateful because it taught me how to easily adapt to change; I learned to flow. I see people around me frequently struggling with the mere concept of change. They remain stuck in their lives because, although they say they want something different, they are afraid to release the comfort of their current world. I have ingrained within my psyche that change is a law, similar to gravity. My response to it is the only thing that matters.

Once, while sitting alone at the dinner table, I got sick. I knew there would be trouble if it was found out that I had “wasted food” so I drank a bowl of my own vomit to keep the peace. That one moment in time defined me for many years. I no longer needed to tell my entire story. I could simply point to that incident and say, “my level of fear was this” and people would get it. For this, I am grateful because I became so intimately involved with fear on a level most people never go to, that I grew to understand it in new ways. I now use those ways to help my clients and those around me gain a clearer understanding of what fear is and how to step through it. It was the foundation for much of my work around shifting beliefs.

When I was 19, I became homeless. I lived on the streets for six long months. Most nights, I was lucky enough to get a bed in one of the local shelters, some nights my luck ran out. Everything I owned fit into a backpack and I often had no idea where my next meal would come from. For this, I am grateful because it clearly showed me that even if I had no idea where my next meal was coming from – it always came. I was always, always, always provided for even when I had no home, no job, no skills, and no hope. I see so many people around me make decisions because on their fears of the amount of money that is currently in their reality, rather than on what would bring them joy. I feel grateful that, out of the tons of things that exist in this world to be afraid of, my basic needs being met is not one of them. This enables me to move about the world in a different way.

What would your life look like if you had not the faith but the knowledge that you are always cared for?

What would you do differently if you could embrace change?

Are you grateful for the ways your fertilizer has grown you or do you use it as your reason for holding back?

 

Photo credit: kukkurovaca / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Three Steps to Sticking with Your Weight Loss Goals

Can you relate to this statement, “I’ve been overweight for many years and think, on a regular basis, how I’d like to change it. I know what to do and, when I actually DO it, the weight starts to come off. The issue is that I can’t seem to stick with it!” ?

This is a common issue…— Read More in this Yahoo! Voices article —